I think it’s time for me to fess up.
I’ve been struggling the last week or so for a variety of reasons.
Someone, who I’m convinced is not in their right mind, has said and done some very hurtful things to two people I care about greatly. It’s hard to watch how one person’s actions has left behind such a wake of anxiety, distrust and painful destruction. Especially when what that person has said and done is so unnecessary, and wrong, and just mean.
I don’t deal well with mean.
I also don’t deal well with people who are cruel and tell so many lies they can no longer find the truth.
And no, all this doesn’t involve me directly, but when two people you care deeply about call needing your reassurance, needing your support – you give it. Even if it throws your world off kilter and into turmoil.
Drama has pervaded my life from a variety of angles until I feel like I can’t even take a deep breath.
A good night’s sleep has become a distant memory and clear thinking seems to be dancing just out of reach.
Needless to say, my writing has suffered greatly because of what is happening. My focus has been obliterated and despite my efforts to find my happy place, it continues to be elusive.
Wallowing in this mire, I received a message from someone who put everything back into perspective.
A stranger shared how one of my books had greatly altered her life – for the better.
I was humbled.
I was in awe of what she shared.
I was in tears, overwhelmed by what she wrote.
Suddenly, the mire that is not of my making doesn’t seem quite so all-consuming and my focus is gaining clarity.
This is what it’s all about.
This is why I write… in the hopes that something, somewhere along the line will touch someone’s heart.
So today, I’m not wallowing, I’m not getting sucked into the brackish waters of a situation that has already gone past out of control.
Today, I am sitting with a humbled heart, feeling so grateful and blessed for what I have, for my life, for the gift of words.
