Two years ago yesterday, I shared the graphic above and announced: “Last day at my day job. Next week – occupation: full-time writer.”
Wow! It’s been an amazing adventure so far.
There were many, many people who thought I’d fallen off the deep end when I told them I quit my job so I could write full time.
There are many people who still think I’m crazy. If I had a dollar for every time someone said, “When are you going to go back to work at a real job?” I’d be independently wealthy.
Yeah, there are a lot of negative people out there. But, then again, they are the people too afraid to let go of what they know and do what their heart dreams.
Following your heart is a terrifying and amazing journey. There are moments so full of blissful wonder, you think you just might burst from the joy of it. There are also moments full of doubt, worry, and fear.
That’s why I’m a firm believer in having faith. It doesn’t make a hard path easier, but it makes the journey possible.
Fear is one of the worst things to get in your head and convince you of all sorts of untrue things. Faith helps me keep fear at bay. There have been days along this adventure when I feel like I can take on the world. And there are days when I feel like the world has beaten me down to nothing.
When I have one of those days, I think about how far I’ve come in what is truly a short time.
Since I left that day job two years ago, I’ve learned so much about myself. One of the things I’ve recently decided is that this journey I’m on isn’t just about gaining new skills, but letting go of old habits and thoughts that hold me back, weigh me down, and keep me from being who I want to be. In the past few months, I’ve really noticed I’m much more attuned to allowing things into my life that bring joy and enrich my world while closing the door on those things that aren’t me – that never really were me.
Frequently, I wonder if I’m heading where I need to go. I can honestly say I feel like I am – but that doesn’t mean I don’t wander off the road and get lost sometimes. Overall, though, even on the days when I know I’m lost, it still feels good to be lost while heading in the right direction.
Despite those who think I’m wandering aimlessly in circles, I do have an idea of where I’m going in this journey. However, some days were meant for exploring while others are definitely meant to walked on a well-traveled path.
This is one of my favorite, favorite quotes – especially the past few weeks. I’ll be honest with you – summer is always rough on my book sales. Really rough. And if I start comparing myself to others, to their successes… well, it sucks the fun out of things in hurry. That’s why I have this sign above my desk. It reminds me that as long as I keep walking forward in this journey – even taking baby steps – that constant motion can carry me a long way.
In some ways, I feel like the summer is my cocoon stage. I hunker down and spend time writing Christmas stories. I plot and plan for the holiday season (and I’ve got some really fun stuff planned!). Even though to the outsider looking in, there may not be a lot of activity taking place, there is a whole sleigh full of plans starting to come together. So much of writing is planning – planning the storyline, the characters, the cover, the release date, the promotions. And I’m often of the mindset if a little plan is good – a big one ought to be better!
In the past two years, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am a dreamer. And yes, one of those who dreams with their eyes open and their thoughts scattered across hundreds of miles. I love to dream and imagine, hope and believe.
I wake up every single day (every one!) so grateful for this opportunity to do something I love so much, something that brings me joy and satisfaction, excitement and a drive to keep on doing it. Am I blessed? You betcha. If I think about it for more than thirty-seconds, it makes my mascara run and my heart ache (in a good way) to know how incredibly, wonderfully, truly blessed I am with this life and the amazing people who support me.
Captain Cavedweller is my rock, my champion, the giver of pep talks, a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on when I need one, and willing to give me a nudge when I hesitate on the edge of jumping into the unknown.
When you spend all day every day home alone, you get a little introspective. You can get lost inside your thoughts. You can realize you’re a little kooky.
Days have gone by when the only person I’ve seen or talked to is CC.
And that’s why I have to thank all of you, my wonderful online friends, who make me smile and laugh, who share in my triumphs and trials, who offer support and encouragement. You inspire me to keep getting better at what I do. You encourage me – even on those days when I struggle to take even a few steps forward. You make my heart smile and I am so blessed to know each one of you.
Thanks for sticking with me on this journey. It’s just getting started and I can’t wait to see where it leads!
